


Phantom Pains

by Dagger_Stiletto



Series: Bionic Agent [2]
Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Amputation, Amputation Aftermath, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Injury Recovery, M/M, Merwin, Sleepy Cuddles, phantom pains
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-13
Updated: 2016-04-13
Packaged: 2018-06-02 02:52:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6547696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dagger_Stiletto/pseuds/Dagger_Stiletto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eggsy can't sleep and tries not to wake Merlin while coping with missing limbs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Phantom Pains

**Author's Note:**

> This is still pretty short, like the first one. The first one seemed to get some good reception, so I decided to make it a series and add a sequel. We'll see how far this goes.
> 
> Again, this is not beta-read. Please let me know if there are mistakes.
> 
> Phantom pains are a real thing and very disconcerting. I know some friends who go through it, and a lot of times they fade, but occasionally, they are a permanent reality for some victims. I hope I described it accurately.

_Eggsy lies awake in bed beside_ Merlin, trying to ignore the odd sensation assaulting his limbs. It’s horrifying. He can still feel his missing leg and hand. His eye has been replaced with a bionic orb that exactly imitates his remaining one with fully functioning vision; of course, with Merlin as its creator, it had snapshot and video-feed capabilities, as well as infrared and thermal readings. As such, he doesn’t have the phantom pains in his eye socket. It aches now and then, but it’s only because of how new it is.

Merlin had overseen its creation, and he had spent hours upon hours on getting the iris color the exact shade of blue-green alone!

He swears he can feel pins and needles in his missing foot, like it has simply fallen asleep. He can wiggle his fingers. He resists the urge to look down. He knows they’re not there, that the blankets dip empty where solid flesh use to be.

It hurts. He shudders and gnaws on his lip, struggling not to groan or to disturb Merlin’s rest. He concentrates on breathing, one of the small meditative therapies his Kingsman physician had suggested. It doesn’t work as well as he’d hoped. He still wants to pop a painkiller. Merlin says he doesn’t have to be so stubborn, but he insists on weaning himself off of them. Better now than later, when he really can’t bear doing without.

His leg is the worse of the two. He wants to reach down and massage the limb, even though a portion of it is gone. He knows it’s in his head. The scar tissue at the ends of his stumps do havr pain factors, of course, but it’s all a neuropathic pain when he thinks it’s his amputated parts that are hurting. It’s like he can feel someone still beating or chopping at his leg and hand in Argentina, even while he rests in a bed in England.

He’s not crazy. It’s completely normal for amputees to have these sensations. Reminding himself of these facts does not help. Being told by Doc that there are simple treatments, both medications and non-medicated therapies, and combinations of them, that will reduce the pain and train his brain into not perceiving sensation in a limb that isn’t there and hasn’t been for weeks.

The pain usually comes at night when he’s trying to sleep. Trying to ignore that he ever was tortured and chopped into bits. He's been awake for hours now. His eyes are dry and tired, and he wants to just will the pain away so he can get some rest. He shifts slightly in his discomfort, and the tingling follows the trail of the partial limb he still has.

“Eggsy?” Merlin’s gruff voice startles him, thick with sleep, loud in the dead of night, but only because of how silent the house is. “Ye okay, lad?”

“Hey, Merls, did I wake you?” he asks, hushed.

“Nae. I’m thirsty. Why are ye awake?” He sits up, his back popping a little, turning to look at the younger male. His eyes seem to see everything, even though he is clearly still bleary from slumber. “Are ye hurtin’?”

He sighs, sitting up a bit as well. There is no sense in denying what Merlin already knows. “Yeah. Was hopin’ not to disturb you. Thought maybe it would go away by itself.” He rubs the back of his head sheepishly. “I hate this feeling, Merls.”

“I know ye do, luv,” he nods, shifting. He pulls back the blankets to get a look at the boy’s stump, and he gently begins massaging it, just how the therapist had shown him not long after Eggsy was released from hospital.

Eggsy releases a short breath, concentrating on the touch and pressure. It takes a while, but the horrible tingling, painful feeling recedes and leaves him more at ease. He massages the stump at the end of his arm while Merlin focuses wholly on his leg. His fingers are firm but careful, reminding his mind that there isn't a lower leg and foot attached to his knee. Just a stump.

His heart warms as he watches, emotion pricking his eyes as this older, gruff Scotsman treats him with yet more tenderness than he’s already seen from him. He’d never thought he’d see this type affection and care from anyone, let alone someone as important and attractive as Merlin.

Leaving his wrist alone, his remaining hand reaches down to smooth over Merlin’s bald head. He smiles when the Scot turns his head up, deep eyes skating over Eggsy’s features. Eggsy bends and kisses his nose, then the corner of his mouth, breathing in his scent. “It’s better now,” he whispers. “Fanks.”

Merlin cups his head and kisses him more firmly, solidly over his lips. “Lay back down, lad. I’ll be back in a moment.” He stands, knees popping as he grunts, and he shuffles out to get a glass of water.

Eggsy leans back with a sigh and scoots to get to a better position. He’s dozing by the time Merlin returns, and he makes a small happy noise when Merlin makes him shuffle back so he can climb into bed again. He snuggles up close, tucking his face against Merlin’s warm neck, and he falls asleep to the sensation of Merlin kissing his hair and shoulders.


End file.
